[THE CELTIC SYMBOL FOR MOTHER & DAUGHTER]

A LETTER OF LOVE FROM FERN.

A HUMBLE WOMAN OF GRACE, WISDOM AND ABUNDANT LOVE FOR MANY.

A HERO IN THE SEEN AND UNSEEN......

WIFE OF 37 YEARS, MUM TO 4 AND 

GRANDMOTHER TO 6 

I wonder how many artists have been working on a project hoping for it to be amazing and slipped with the paint or the ink?!  At the time they would be thinking that they have ruined their work, but with time and a different perspective they discover that what seemed to be a mistake has actually enhanced their vision and created an original masterpiece!

As I stand where I am now and reflect on my past, I find myself watching younger women today who are finding their way through life with Jesus and my heart swells with love and admiration and today I want you to know that there are many of us who want to stand on the side line of your life and cheer you on. 

Every one of you are so amazing, strong, creative, talented women in a world that is sooo fast from what I remember.  Life today is so much more diverse and changing from even 20, let alone 40 years ago. 

So many times I see younger women beat themselves up as they try to do it all and be it all. My heart aches as I watch women write themselves off when they don’t seem to “get it right” or “have it all together.”

If I could tell you anything I would share that in my journey, I have seen that when the brush slips, or the canvas falls off its stand , it’s not the end when I take hold of the artists hand, my Father, my King, my Jesus.

For when He is at work in our lives, His hand never slips.

He holds us up with His hand.

He will use every bump in the road, to move us closer into the intimate love and caring, understanding relationship that He has and wants to have more with us. 

If you give Him permission, He will graciously show you how the bad and sad things in your life were not wasted.

If we look through His eyes, in the end we will discover a quiet, peaceful, beautiful strength in our walk through life with Him.

I can look back now and see what I thought were the marred parts, were all beautiful focal pointe used by His power for me to strengthen my trust in Him.

I can now say I KNOW beyond a choice to trust that 

HE IS FAITHFUL in all things

 So don’t be discouraged – if your heart is afraid, downtrodden, discouraged and in pain, let my experience and journey encourage you to dig into Him. I know beyond a doubt that in the midst of your pain, He is using you. There is or will be someone in your path that He needs you to minister His healing and understanding to help them through their own pain.

I know, because I have seen it, that in every season of life, God wants us to be dependent on Him, to trust Him and to surrender to Him.

This is where we find true freedom in this life , and where we find Him in the midst of so many curves in the road. 

This is where true ‘realness’ is.

I love you amazing woman of now and the future.  You are a woman of God, being fashioned after His likeness.

And lastly, use His name in every day to sustain, strengthen and guide you.  This will remind you that He is with you and in you wherever you go and in whatever you are facing- whether you feel Him there or not.

And remember beautiful one, we are praying for you and we are cheering you on!

With much love Fern  xxxxxx

This Blog is written by Shirley, a humble hero to many.

Wife for 50 years, mumma to three, grandmother to nine

& spiritual prayer warrior for many. 

"I will say to the Lord, “You are my safe and strong place, my God, in Whom I trust.”

 He will cover you with His wings. And under His wings you will be safe. 

 For He will tell His angels to care for you and keep you in all your ways. 

They will hold you up in their hands

PSALM 91 (selected verses)

I’m going to be honest - over the years, I have struggled with many aspects of my spiritual life as well as my life in general. Like everyone I have made mistakes in life, but from where I now stand, I don’t regret anything because I have learnt from my mistakes and grown from these experiences. I believe we will never stop learning in-fact, the more I learn, the more I discover I do not know.

So like you I am still learning and growing and I now realise that there will never be a time when I will “have it all together”. Life is a constant adventure of growth, but as I look back now there are a few things I think I could tell my younger self.  So I if was able to tell my younger self anything from where I now stand, this is what I would say.....

 

#1.  Trust in who God is and what He is doing.

Lean on Him, remember to thank Him for all the blessings He has given to you everyday.  

Bring Him into all of your world – not just what you think are the ‘big things in life’ but the everyday small ones as well.  Instead of trying to solve them yourself, hand them over to Him.  He is waiting for you, urging you to trust in Him. 

Spend time with Him and remember you can talk to Him anywhere, anytime, anyplace.  They do not have to be eloquently spoken words.  He loves you just the way you are. He knows your heart and wants to be involved in every part of your life.

A good relationship is one where we not only talk but listen also.  Listen for His voice.  There are many ways the Lord will speak to you. Be on the look out for His voice even in the simple things. He is all around you – Be on the lookout for Him in every simple moment. He will speak to you in everyday moments if you have the ears to hear and the eyes to see, even in the most simple things as clouds in the sky. He will use anything and everything to speak to you if you have ears to hear. 

 

#2 As a young mum – be brave and be you!

Be the best example for your children by simply being YOU!  

You are the parent He has given to them.  God has blessed us with them to love them, but also remember that you are to raise them. Be intentional to raise them with kindness, love and teach them who they are created to be.   

Build your home on the absolute of LOVE.

Your children need to know how loved and how proud you are of them, no matter what. We need to tell them repeatedly that they are loved.

Your children will all make mistakes, some big some not so big. But you need to let them know you love them regardless and that it is their actions that need to be addressed and to help them learn from their mistakes.  Never give them cause to doubt your absolute love for them.

No one is perfect so you should not expect them to be perfect. Teach them about love and kindness but also about discipline and old school manners and courtesy. Teach them to respect themselves and start when they are little to teach them to respect everyone around them. Don't be afraid to set boundaries - your job is to prepare them to be an adult- start from day one!

 Encourage them to give of their very best and aim high to achieve their goals. But always remember that their goals may not necessarily be the same as you might have chosen for them. 

Be there and be present for them always and in all ways even if, at the time you think you have a long to-do list and more important things to do. Nothing is more important that raising your babies – what you do everyday is incredible and legacy making!

Your toddlers and babies may need you in their early years but as your kids get older and  become teenagers, they will need you so much more in these formative years.  They need to know you are there to listen and guide them even though sometimes they will think you know nothing. 

Fight the big things and try to let the little things slide.  Encourage, respect and love them unconditionally. Model your life on the life of Christ and work to give your children the blessing  of a rich  Christian heritage to carry on and in turn they will instil Christ into their own family.            

 

#3 KNOW AND RESPECT WHO YOU ARE!!!

You will wish you had done some things differently in your  life but you need to learn from these moments and do not dwell on them.  Move on!

You cannot change the past but you can look to the future.  You did what you thought was the best at that time.  When you knew better, you did better.

 

#4 TRUST THAT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE

Be determined and passionate about what God is calling YOU to.  For some this is very evident.  It may hit them like a bullet or they may know very early on exactly what God is calling them to.  They may have a special talent that God is calling them to use but for some of us nothing stands out.  You may struggle with this at times and wonder how so many seemed to know their calling and yet you will feel so unsure.  

God will give you different things to do in different seasons of your life.

 How good is our Heavenly Father? 

If I can tell you anything from where I now stand , know dear one that for you, maybe there is not one great calling but simply to be you in the thousand different places and seasons throughout all of your life.  Your calling is to be who I’ve called you to be and what I ask you to do, in different ways and times throughout all of your life.

He reveals Himself in His timing, never stop waiting on Him.

Remember Isaiah  40:31

“But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
    They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don’t get tired,
    they walk and don’t lag behind

Whatever it is, wherever He places you -  He needs you right there at that time, for His own reasons. You may not be able to see or understand the why but LEAN, TRUST & WAIT on Him in every season.

You will plant a seed but someone else will be called to water it.  A plant cannot grow without a seed being sown and then watered to bear fruit. 

God needs you to be a part of His body of people who work together to  bear fruit.

 

#5 LEARN TO BE STILL

Learn “To be still and rest in Him.”  You will be of no use to Him or to anyone else if you burn out.

Sometimes you will think you are the only one who can do something but it may surprise us to know that the world will not stop if you take time out.  Learn to let go and be still.  Christ himself took time out to recharge and He seeks to simply spend time with you first and before everything else.

 

AND LASTLY

In all things give honour and glory to your Lord who calls you and loves you unconditionally.

..............So, my prayer for you to you reading this, whoever you are, wherever you are and no matter the season of life you are in, is that you will lean on your Heavenly Father.  Look to Him for guidance in all you undertake, that He will be your refuge and fortress, the God in whom you trust.

From where I now stand, I can see His faithfulness, protection, grace and wisdom have been outstretched over every season and every circumstance of my life. Even when it was hard, He was there.

Live with the wonderful vision of Him spreading His arms like wings over you and protecting you like a mother bird over her chicks and of His angels protecting and guarding you.

Oh, what joy- remember dear one, if God is for you who can be against you, and may you know our Lord’s happiness, love, hope, peace and joy now and for all your days!

With much love and prayers 

Shirley xx

We believe in the power and beauty of generations of women standing in unity. We believe in laying down a pathway of honour for the generations who have walked before and smoothed the ground for our steps to be lighter & safer. We honour the legacy, the sacrifice and the seen & unseen toil that has given us today.

This week will feature three letters from three different women of experience, life and wisdom who have chosen to pen words of encouragement, love & wisdom especially with you in mind.

Here are is the first of these letters

The first is from Kerri- Mae.

  (Spirit led, woman of faith, wife of 40 years,mumma to 5 & grandmumma to 15)

---

---

Many years ago I had a dream that left me pondering for months to come ...

I was sitting alone and having what I call reflection time with the Lord and I captured a picture of myself going back in time and speaking to my younger self.

I was just a small child gazing at my reflection in a still pond. I recall the thoughts that this child could only see herself on the surface, but life would eventually plunge her into the deep. A place where undiscovered talent and gifts would emerge amidst the difficulties and challenges she would face. I watched as she stared at the water knowing she wanted to plunge in but holding back out of fear not knowing what lay beneath the surface.

I felt inclined to tell her not to be afraid and to speak.

I wanted to prepare her for the experience she would have, should she dare to leave the surface of life and plunged into the deep.

The things I spoke to her at that time I would love to say to you, in the hope that it may enable you to navigate this gift of life with more intentional living

 BE SIGNIFICANT AND LOVED,

First and foremost know that you are loved, significant and that you do matter.

You are the result of Gods finest intention. From the very beginning, he had you in mind and has designed plans and purposes to make your life influential. Your developing years are intended to be full of promise and filled with discovery about who you are and what life's possibilities await you.

BE PARTNERED and NEVER ALONE

This life was given freely but intended to be shared in a partnership with God.

Together He wants you to decide stuff. I've discovered over the years that it's not all sealed and locked in. We don't have to just await our fate and the inevitable to happen. Yes It's purposed in God for sure, but He wants our input in deciding our life's purpose and direction.

Together you talk and communicate desires and plans, and together you agree ( and sometimes disagree) It's not meant to be a sealed deal or a 50/50 arrangement. It's a relationship Father to Child and you're both in 100 percent.

Together, you'll thrive,

Together, you'll champion life.

Together, you'll overcome every obstacle.

Together, you'll be riding every wave big and small, and conquering whatever comes your way.

BE CONFIDENT AND SAFE

Everything you need is within. You're wired a very particular way, unique in every aspect. This life is a beautiful journey of discovery and a school of learning. Along the way, you'll be continually challenged, always finding how you fit into the scheme of things. People and circumstances will pull you in all different directions according to the season of learning your in.

Don't panic if you don't have all the answers. Follow your heart and gut instincts because God has wired you instinctively to follow north. (2 Peter 1:3. He's put within you all you need for life and Godliness) You'll know right from wrong. He's gifted you with abilities beyond your imagination and your infinitely better than you think you are. He trust you and if you will trust yourself more and dig deep down for what you know to be true, you'll be ok

BE INTENTIONAL

Take this incredible mysterious gift we call life and intentionally map out what it should look like 20 years from now. Don't make the mistake of the people my age living in regret. It starts by questioning everything about yourself.

• What you like and dislike,
• What you want changed about yourself or circumstances?
• What direction would you like your life to take?
• What characteristics do you admire in people?
• If you could be anyone, what would that person look like?
• What would you have to learn or develop within yourself for that to be a reality?

Take all of it onboard and disciple yourself ! Pay close attention to the character strengths necessary to achieve your dreams. Disciple your character above all else.

As what is a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul in the process .

BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS

I remember an occasion when I was feeling completely isolated and alone, yet actually in a room full of people. Across the room a woman turned, noticed me and gave me the biggest welcoming smile. She didn't know me nor I her but that smile told me I was not alone and that I mattered. I held onto that smile the whole evening. 

I'll never forget it! Kindness is a powerful force, healing us of hurts we don't even know we carry.

We need it almost as much as our daily food. So chose to be kind and give people grace.

God is the kindest person I have ever met . He offers us grace, grace and more grace. Take it wholeheartedly and live free of guilt and condemnation. You will make mistakes and stupid ones at that! But give yourself a break and take that kind hand of grace, get back up and go again.

BE ALERT

The biggest enemy you will ever face is not the one in the world or the church, It's the one inside of you!

It rages a war in your mind of unworthiness shame guilt and pity.

It wants to continually capture you and keep you caged BUT there is an abundant life for you to live if you will think on things that are trustworthy and true, not on hear say or gossip.

Look to the possibilities and not the problems look beyond what you can see, knowing there's a God of impossibilities always by your side

BE ONE

Lastly, if I were to choose only one thing to help you navigate life, this is the one thing I would say. Never attempt negotiating this life without the guidance counsel and wisdom of the Holy Spirit. Make it your aim to have Him as your best friend. That way, you won't fall into the trap of caring what people, who don't matter, think! (Be sure, your loved one's opinion should always matter to you) However don't allow other people or circumstances or what you do or don't do define you.

As you are unique and greatly loved because of who you be not because of what you do

Lovingly

Keri-Mae  xoxo

To the one who looked in the mirror this morning and thought that you can’t do one more day, take courage dear one just take one step in front of another.

To the one who looked in the mirror this morning and wondered how you got here, look ahead dear one, He knows the plan.

To the one who looked in the mirror and thought it’s all over, look again dear one, He is not finished with you yet.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt overwhelming shame, be restored dear one, His mercies are new every morning.

To the one who looked in the mirror this morning and felt inadequate and unqualified, remember dear one, He qualifies those He calls.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt the waves of anxiety crash in around her, be still dear one, at the mention of His name, every storm and wave must be still.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt battle weary, rest dear one, He will fight for you.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt abandoned and alone, be comforted dear one, He will meet your every need.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt unworthy, eyes up dear one, to Him you are without blemish or blame

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt useless, do not be deceived, there is more for you to do.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt overwhelmed, breathe dear one, you are stronger than you know right now.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt confusion blur her vision, look again dear one, He will light your way.

To the one who looked in the mirror and saw only brokenness, be comforted dear one, He is stronger than any pain or circumstance.

To the one who looked in the mirror and saw a reflection surrounded by sickness and disease, open your mouth dear one and declare His goodness in the midst of the battle.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt hopeless, hold on dear one, there is more that you cannot dream or imagine still to come.

To the one who looked in the mirror and found eyes full of hurt and scared to trust again, soften your gaze dear one, forgiveness will set you free.

To the one who looked in the mirror and saw that you are standing alone, close your eyes dear one, listen closely and you will hear the whispers of His heart telling you that you are never alone.

To the one who looked in the mirror and saw a one who is unseen and unheard, keep going dear one, you are more treasured and valuable than you know.

To the one who looked in the mirror and gave up, stay dear one, just for today stay and He will meet you here.

To the one who looked in the mirror and did not recognise who she saw, keep looking dear one, she is still there.

To the ONE who looked in the mirror and felt the accusations and slander shout back at her, do not be discouraged dear one, the truth will set you free.

To the one who looked in the mirror and saw someone who took two steps and failed again, do not give up dear one, celebrate the steps not the fall.

AND

To the one who looked in the mirror and was ready for the day, slow down dear one, be ready for His interruptions.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt she had it all together, be careful dear one, hold loosely to and listen carefully.

To the one who looked in the mirror and saw one busy building the kingdom, be wise dear one, build His kingdom not your own.

To the one who looked in the mirror and thought she could do it all, be gentle dear one, do only what He has asked of you.

To the one who looked in the mirror and was too distracted to hear the calls of the little ones at her feet, look down dear one, they are watching you.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt good about who she was, look carefully dear one, there is someone who needs your encouragement today.

To the one who looked in the mirror and walked out full of courage and boldness, be aware dear one, there will be one who needs you to fight for them today.

To the one who looked in the mirror and knew her purpose for the day, be careful dear one, He may have other ideas.

To the one who looked in the mirror and felt prepared for whatever came, be expectant dear one, He will have someone in your path today.

To the one who looked in the mirror and asked Him to use you, listen for His direction, He will direct your steps.

To the one who looked in the mirror and was determined to make today different, walk on dear one, you can do it.

To the one who looked in the mirror, whoever you are today, stand tall dear one, you are not alone in how you feel......

I am one just like you. I am all of you. We are all just like you. We are just like these ones.

So one foot in front of the other dear one, however you feel today, one foot in front of the other.

Breathe, be still, slow down, eyes up, take courage!

You don’t need to be perfect today, just be perfectly YOU.

And remember we ALL look in the mirror and see our eyes, but He looks in the mirror at our reflection through His eyes and says.....

"I see you, all of you- UNVEILED.

You can stand, stand strong and proud-  UNASHAMED.

My love for you, my forever love for you will remain- UNDIVIDED"

It was like stepping off the battlefield. As I sat on the beach, it was time to get a little honest with myself. I considered myself a pretty nice person and I genuinely loved God and most of the time, other people. But lately I found myself looking in the mirror at the end of the day and I wasn’t so sure I liked who I saw. Something was uneasy in my Spirit about the way conversations were playing out around me and I was determined to work out what was going on. 

And as I replayed conversations and relationships, I began to see it and hear it. I had allowed sarcasm, negativity and criticism to become a natural part of my dialogue and the dialogue around me. I could see it was so much more than the words being said but that it was causing strife and silent damage to not only those on the receiving end but to my very own heart and spirit as well. And perhaps what saddened and confused me the most, was that this use of words, this negative use of words, seemed so common place around me now.  We were speaking so carelessly to each other and so carelessly to ourselves as well. I felt heavy, trapped, suffocated and hopeless.

I was passionate about words and passionate about people. I knew words had the power to hurt others so when had I allowed myself to become so careless. When had I become so complacent about the friendly fire words, that I had given myself permission to speak or the permission I had given myself to stay silent in such conversations, without really considering the consequence.

Something had to change. I had to change.

“The tongue has the power of life and death” Proverbs 18:21

I had a choice – I could continue to allow my words to essentially speak death  or I could choose to intentionally retrain my words to speak life.

I chose LIFE.

Words are powerful. When God speaks He creates life. Our God SPOKE and with His words breathed our very life into existence. We are IMAGO DEI – created in the IMAGE of God, a reflection, a carrier of the Spirit of God. This means that as we commune with Him, we too share in the power and authority within the use of our words. It also means that in every engagement with one another we should always choose to think the best and see the goodness, light, value and beauty in one another.

That day I saw that the enemy wants nothing more than to see the sons and daughters of God divided and paralysed. He knows that like that first fall in the garden, if he can disrupt the intimacy of relationship we have with one another, then he can also disrupt the effectiveness of the plans and purposes the Father has for each of us and us corporately. We have to wake up to how, by the disruption of relationship with one another, the enemy is subtly stealing the fullness of unity and community in our generation. God doesn’t mix His words when He describes it as “Gangrene” which literally means the body turning against itself.

Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. Their teaching will spread like gangrene. 2 Tim 2:16

But once we are awakened to the reality that we are the living reflection of God in our everyday, we have to also be awake to the accountability that we have with the way we use our words in every single engagement we have throughout our day.

Every time we open our mouth we have the opportunity to reflect our Commander – in Chief. Our world, our children, our generation need us to be women who are awakened to the fight to speak life and light into every place and into everyone.  Words in the mouth of a trained warrior are a skilled weapon. And when we are strategically positioned and commissioned by our Commander, BY HIS POWER, our words have the power to build kingdoms, speak life, cast down lies & deception, break chains, usher in healing, bring comfort, declare a hope and a future and bring Light into the places of darkness.

We have been called for such a time as this to be warriors who no longer speak inconsequentially and ignorantly.

Our generation has become complacent to understand the repercussions of their words – both online and offline.

But We are women who have to be vision carriers and culture settings.

In a world where we the computer screen allows us to feel as though we have connected with the world, we need to be women who will close the laptop, put down the phone and engage in conversation each other, face to face, eye to eye, arm in arm.

In an age where many women feel so isolated and alone, we need to be women who boldly step out of our comfort zone and become safe places with another by keeping what we share with each other sacred.

In a time when many women have been silenced by words that have hurt, damaged or targeted them, our Commander in chief has a strategic assignment for us

 – We must Speak Once More!

And so will you join me and be bold enough to begin to SPEAK!

Will you be a women who is fully engaged to bring life and light into every engagement with others in your day?

Will you be bold enough to become a voice that will always seek to honour the Imago Dei within yourself and those around you?

Will you train up as a warrior woman, whose words are indeed weapons and who is acutely aware of the enemy’s schemes and cuts them down by the Word?

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” Hebrews4:12

But a word of warning – to be effective in this battle we must first understand our Commander has some non-negotiable RULES OF ENGAGEMENT.

1)    Train up your heart

Any warrior going into training must first complete a health check and primary to that is the condition of the heart. What is the condition of your heart? If we are to be a reflection of our Commander then this means to step into battle we must have the heart of Christ.

To be effective and shift culture we must constantly in check with the state of our heart.

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” Luke 6:45.

We need to be uncompromising in the discipline and training of our hearts to be full of thoughts that only bring honour to our Commander. If we have bitterness, envy, pride, hurt, un-forgiveness, insecurity or agenda in our heart then our words will flow from these. But if we do the work of training our hearts and our thoughts to be full of kindness, mercy, encouragement, love, acceptance, goodness, forgiveness and when we chose to see the best in each other and seek truth, then we will begin to be ready to engage.

2)    Retrain your instincts.

We’ve all been there- we are hurt by unkind words or by someone’s unfair judgement of us. Our natural instinct is to defend, retreat or attack back. But the rules of engagement from our Commander in Chief is to surrender our natural instinct and respond with our Imago Dei instincts.

This means

• When offended, speak words of forgiveness (Col 3:13)
• When criticised, speak words of encouragement (1 Thes 5:11)
• When accused, be silent and let Him speak for you (Ex 4:4)
• When others slander you speak generously with words of compassion and kindness (Esp 4:31-32)
• When found to be in a crowd that is loud with strife and criticism, let your whisper become louder than their shout(Prov 31:8)
• When you speak to yourself, understand you are speaking to one who is indeed Imago Dei. (Gen 1:27)

For when we use words that reflect the life giving nature of our Commander it cuts down the power of every other lie that comes our way.

I am determined to not waste one more day and one more conversation. Our generation needs women who will rise up and boldly speak. Speak with words that will give life. For there is too much at stake – there are futures to be released, there are relationships to be restored, there are identities to be established and there are hopes and dreams to be nurtured. Believe me there are truths to be spoken and life to be breathed. 

1.     In what places/ relationships in your life are you needing to rise up and speak?

2.     What is He asking you to say?

It is black and white.

It happened as I sat down to hear the tale of my 11 year old daughter's day and how she was hurt and confused as to why her group of girlfriends were not speaking to one another yet again.  As she did, I was shocked to see her questioning her identity and worth as a result of this "girl world drama."

And then again, as I sat and listened to a group of teenage girls share their hearts with me "I don't really have many girls that are my friends" they confessed  "I just can't trust them." 

Part of my response to both these girls and my daughter was the same- “Yes, I know it's confusing, it hurts and it is sad, but sweethearts this is "normal” girl world.

Over the next couple of weeks as I found myself replaying these conversations how I responded to them and I grew more and more discontent. All around me I saw that there were examples of living, healthy and authentic relationships between women to be found, but sadly it seemed that they were a rarity.  It grieved me to discover as I shared with women of all ages, that many struggled to have deep, long term friendships with other women. Many shared stories of hurt, judgement, betrayal or exclusion.  And perhaps what made my heart ache most, was that the dream of unity was for many just that - a dream. 

Once known by the nickname of  “Community,” here I was suddenly feeling awakened to the this new reality that had somehow altered my expectation of friendship. Drama and hurt had become a part of the "normal" and I had allowed my own hurt, disappointment, fear and distraction to redefine what I now accepted as ”normal" interactions for the way we act towards each others.

And so to my knees I went- I prayed for forgiveness for contributing to it and for accepting it.  I prayed for Him to give me insight into the root causes of it. I prayed for wisdom to war against it and I prayed for an awakening of women who were prepared to take the INITIATIVE to do something about it.

Because here is the black and white revelation I received on my knees- 

I am convinced that now more than ever, this generation has a mandate to restore and rebuild the identity of women all over the world. And this will only happen as we sanction the way we build relationship and community with one another.

So, do you hear it?

Does the black and white truth call out to YOU?

Listen– As mothers, as sisters, as women and as the daughters of God we are being called to attention!

God is a generational God and He is drawing our attention to see that there is a legacy of community that is being subtly and silently eroded. 

There are generations of women watching us and depending on us to confront this modern age of superficial on-line convenient “connectivity” as the norm. They are begging us to re-establish and protect a legacy of authentic, safe, committed relationships so that one day they will live by a different definition of "normal"  girl world. They are listening, watching, waiting and learning from US!

They are needing us to BE real, TALK real,  GET real, ACCEPT real, CREATE real and PROTECT real.

They are hungry for us to COMMUNE in UNITY.

He designed it, we need it and our daughters, our grand-daughters and the future generations deserve it!!!!

A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. (Proverbs 31:10)

*ok, ok I know this says husband, but I think our friend Mrs Prov 31 can teach us a few things about doing life together across all our relationships, don't you?

SO.....

1.     We need to become a generation of women who are safe.

So many times when talking to women of all ages I heard “I just don’t know if I can trust her." Sadly there are times when someone proves to be  untrustworthy and yes we must use wisdom as to what we entrust to these people.   We cannot make anyone else be a safe place but we can choose to be a safe place for everyone in our world. We need to become women who can be trusted without reserve.

This begins when we go beyond just ‘guarding’ what we say to and about each other, and reaches into what we genuinely ‘think’ about one another. The Father offers this transformation through a ‘renewal of our minds’ when we learn and choose to see one another through His lens of LOVE & GRACE. 

Redefining what it means to be women who are "safe"  will only happen when we sanction jealousy, opinion, judgement, comparison, manipulation, control, self righteousness, exclusion or simply being unkind to each other. 

Our thoughts and words to and about one another need to be saturated with the Christ like nature of acceptance, value, love, worth and encouragement. (++ And can I be bold to say that I believe this includes friendly sarcasm which can dangerously perch on the line of negativity and criticism veiled in humour.)

We have to be warriors who create, fight for and fiercely protect each other through establishing a  non-negotiable safe culture of acceptance, encouragement and love. 

2. We must become a generation of women who commit to one another.

She treats him generously HER WHOLE LIFE LONG. 

What would it look like to treat each other GENEROUSLY? Could we dare to let go of our own expectations, opinions, hurts, insecurities and even our "best intentions" and commit to build up one another in Christ like love?

 I believe that through the act of making a long term commitment to stand by one other through each and every seasons with the ingredients of time, forgiveness support, faith and transparency, WE WILL take back ground!

For transformation will be tested. Changing the "norm" will come against opposition. It will stir up the enemy, who would have us give up and give in through targeting our relationships with the tests of busyness, distraction, tiredness, apathy, criticism, fear, insecurity, hurt, offence and comparison. Believe me the enemy wants nothing more than to continue to see women isolated, disappointed, hurt, silenced and divided.

Too often we have allowed hurt and offence to drive us away from one another and what could have been momentary differences in relationship, become permanent, irreconcilable division.

Can we dare to become women who commit to being brave enough to working it out and working it through? Despite the challenges and trials of life, are we able to treat one another generously our whole life long? Can we forgive, can we accept, can we choose to see the best, can we offer understanding to each other, can we stay when it gets hard, can we be life long friends?

It’s black and white!

Our generation is being awakened and He is setting a mandate before us. The status quo of how we do relationships must be challenged.

And so the.31.initiative is simply a response to this awakening. It is an initiative to inspire, challenge, awaken, encourage and create a safe place for women. It is a platform for us to raise our voice and no longer be silent.  It is a declaration that we are now awake to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is a war cry to the enemy that we are no longer content to allow daughters, mothers, sisters our friendships to be targeted. It is a promise to our daughters who are listening and watching, that our generation will not sit idle but we will rise up, reclaim His design for us as women and as community.   

So come. 

This is a place where you and your story is safe.

This is a place where love and encouragement is a non-negotiable.

This is a place where we will learn to commune in unity.

Unveiled. Unashamed. Undivided.

QUESTIONS:

1.     What has been your experience of relationships with other women?

2.     What legacy of community would you like to create for the next generation?

3.     What is the Holy Spirit challenging you to address in your own relationships in order to be an agent of change?